Leo I think you are wrong about a story. It is so important to a good letter. Maybe your organizations just haven’t told you a story that connected with you. That’s the whole point.. to make you feel something. Not just telling a story for the sake of telling a story but one that encompasses why your organization does the work it does and why you should get involved. It’s tough to get great stories but they are worth digging for and writing into your letter.

I think you hit on an extremely important point.

As the recipient of (too?) many solicitations, one of the
fastest ways to lose my attention is to overwhelm me with
material. It absolutely amazes (and frustrates) me how
many good organizations act like they’ve got this
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get in front of my
eyeballs and bombard me with information.

I’ll be honest: I’m lazy. If you can’t get your point across
in a few paragraphs on a single page, I’m gone.

Too many organizations use every solicitation as an
introduction to the organization. That’s just WRONG. If I
don’t know you, then build the relationship before you ask.
Once you’re certain that there is a relationship, then you
don’t need to repeat everything I already know about your
organization. Tell me what you need, and why you need it.
It’s that simple. If I already know your organization, then
you’ve made an appropriate ask, and it’s in my hands now. If
I *don’t* know your organization, (and by “know” I really
mean “have a relationship with”) then you shouldn’t be
asking. Yet.

People are more pressed for time than ever. They’ll give it
(and more) to those organizations with which they feel they
have some kind of a relationship. But you *must* be
respectful of those time constraints, and not force them to
read a long and, for them, repetitive manuscript every time.

As an aside: I *personally* don’t need to be told a story. I
actually find it wasteful of my time if I’m required to slog
through yet another story before you make your point. If I
know your organization and what it does, if we have that
relationship, the story is completely redundant. You’ve
probably already told me dozens. On the other hand I know
that stories apparently work for many people. So I’d
encourage using some way to make that story optional *to me*
- be it a sidebar, or an insert or whatever – something that
doesn’t force my attention and time away from the message
you’re really attempting to deliver.

Leo